Friday, March 19, 2010

The things punters do when they're banging me that make me want to puke...TAKE NOTE!!!

Now, the very act of paying for a shag is in itself  pretty sleazy, and quite a turn off....but even more so when you're on the receiving end!! Punters come in all shapes and sizes, but here are a few of the stomach turning traits they all seem to share!!

1) The awful way they grit their teeth and screw up their faces and make grunting noises just before they cum.
-Now why oh why do you have to do this? It is so fucking animalistic and it scares the shit out of me!!
I hate it when you are banging away on top of me and I look up and see that strained look on your face and that desperate look in your eyes....yuck yuck yuck.!!

2) Trying to make me CUM.
-Now why oh fucking why are punters so obsessed with this? QUIT NOW...IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN YOU DIPSHITS!! You just paid €250 to jack off inside me, and that is VERY different to making love with a significant other...not that I would expect any of you to have ever done the latter, but trust me it is..
I have to spend my life in a state of theatricality with you people...moaning and gyrating like I'm lapdancing for Latvia, but TRUST me it's all bullshit!! You DON'T bring me pleasure, and I get pissed off with having to act like you do just to appease your oversized egos!!

3) Skid marks.
-Now these have to be just the grossest thing. Please guys, wash your ass cracks!! There is nothing more of a turn off!!

3)Body Odour.
-Goes without saying. Please take a shower. I don't ask you for no reason, and plus it helps use up some of the hour....10 minutes less that I have to have you in my immediate vicinity ;-)

4) Fingering me with long nails.
-I'd actually rather your tongue or fingers went nowhere near there, but seeing as you are determined to give me "pleasure" (or at least that's what I let you THINK you're doing) then cut your damned nails before inserting please!!

5) Copping a quick feel before you've handed over the cash.
-Don't even think about it.....

6) Asking me what I want.
-If you really want to know what I want, it's for you to leave €250 on the table then turn your sorry ass back round again and get the hell out!! !

6) Telling me you want me to enjoy it
-This is my JOB. Does a plumber ENJOY putting his hands down toilets? No. He gets paid to. No different with me..... Nuff said.